7 Weeks Later...

I refuse to let this blog die. Some days I've wanted to write about Derby and I've loaded up the page and the first thing on top was the post about my Dad. It would just bring back the flood of emotions from that first day that it happened... so fresh, so raw still... and I couldn't do anything but close the window and leave the writing for another day.

So 7 weeks have passed since my Dad passed away. I can't believe it... 7 weeks. It feels like it just happened a few days ago. Hell it feels like it didn't even happen and that I'll walk into work one morning and he'll be sitting there, sipping his coffee, reading his newspaper as he would so often be doing by the time I got there. But what more can be said? I miss him, my mom misses him... everybody misses him. I think about him every few minutes. Sometimes coming in to work in the morning is agonizing because I expect to see him there. Sometimes I cry for almost no reason because something so small will remind me of him. Like the time I cried in Circuit City because they were showing Top Gun (one of his faves!). I have pictures of him that I got from my mom, but I can't even bring myself to put them up anywhere in my house yet.

There's a lot more that I can and want to say about it, and maybe as time passes I'll write more... if for no other reason than for me to get it off my chest, out of my head, and written down somewhere so that someday I can go back and read it all again... and remember. Remember how I felt, what I thought, what I went through. So I guess that's a warning to all of you... this blog is now 50% serious posts about my feelings and 50% posts about Derby (he's doing well! thanks for asking!).

So just know that I'll be updating the blog again... in fact I'm gonna write a separate blog entry right now to update you all on Derby. To anybody reading this... I hope you're doing well, I know I've been pretty MIA lately.